8 Weeks

In 8 weeks we have a wedding to go to, I really want to lose some weight for it.

Today I saw a gorgeous dress in a local dress shop, I tried on an 18, it was tight across the bust, the under bust seam not quite sitting under bust. I was tempted to buy it to diet into but I don't want to be wearing an 18.

Actually I shouldn't be worried about it, it's only a number because these days there don't seem to be any standardisation in dress sizing. Depending on which shop and often different items in the same shop. the size of clothes I wear varies. One shop made me cry when I saw the size of the items that fitted me, then I realised their sizing seemed be 2 sizes different from everywhere else.

I have been losing weight and recently bought some items in 16 and even a 14 that fit me.

I have been listening to the Gabriel Method CD at night, using visualisations to see myself slimmer, that was hard to do. I'd look at pictures to find the body I want, in magazines, on the net and then couldn't imagine my head on that body. I'd never look like that in million years. I've always been fat, yadda, yadda. I found a picture of myself at my sister's wedding,aged about 19 years, I realised that in fact I wasn't fat. I weighed about 58 kilos back then..... a weight considered fat by my family because I was and had been bigger than my older sister for a long time - a quote from those days "Cheryl only has to look at what Sue eats and she gains weight". Sue my older sister at the time of her wedding still bought her clothes in the childrens dept and at another wedding later that year a stranger pointed her out, asking me if "that little girl over there was pregnant". For years I told myself I was meant to be fat.

Well listening to the CD is changing that, I am using my own picture to visualise my perfect body, able to see myself without the double chin, which in fact is diminishing. Whether I get down to 58 kilos is not important, but being able to see myself as that size is definitely helping. I got dressed today and looked the mirror actually wowing what I saw, there is a change in how I see myself.

I am exercising more, today I got out the 3 mile Walk Away The Pounds, put it on the mini DVD player and watched a Grow Your Own Drugs DVD on the TV while doing the exercises. It was great because I wasn't watching all those great bodies and feeling despondant about my own. I did only do 2 miles, the DVD player ran out of power, it must have felt sorry for me.